The Anxiety!

I was in this adventurous journey since February until June this year. At the beginning, I was blessed to be invited to start the journey which I hardly believed that I could be involved! I still remember when I first received the invitation, I cried after reading it!

After got invited, obviously I had to work hard on getting this which is my dream for all time! I was really hardworking, and spent a lot of time on books and wikipedia every afternoon, no exception! I have the passion on this and I want it so bad!

The first task was in April, the very first challenge, I couldn't sleep the previous night, I was so scared on losing it! The games started, boxes fixing, questionnaires and some chit-chatting. It was a fun day, I enjoyed the time a lot! However, it was the first task which means I had to pass this task in order to continue staying in the game!

After two tense weeks, finally I'd got the call from the authority! I made it! I passed through the first task and got into the next game! Well, everyone knows nothing is getting easier but harder! The games are progressively harder than the next one! So I had to work even harder for the next task which was scheduled on early June.

The second task was seriously intense, as usual, I didn't sleep well the previous night. The games were trickier and tougher! Level by level! I needed the whole day to complete the task! It was exhausting! Besides it was a relief after the whole day of work; in fact, I had a feeling, I felt I wouldn't get to pass this task though!

After two hours, the result had being sent to me; I failed to be in the game eventually. When I received the rejection letter, I was blanked for few seconds, "is that it?" I asked myself. "Everything has gone?" I asked again..
"Yes, it is." The inner me replied.

My tears drifting down from my eyes, my legs were shivering, my hands couldn't been controlled in a stabler rhythm. It was very hard for me to accept the fact! I was this much close to get what I have always wanted! After all of these thoughts, I cried out loud alone in the room.
Frankly, not much guys can get it easily as well, it was not an casual thing as you thought. So, I am not alone.

Along the journey, I had met some interesting guys from around the world. I made friends with those guys some of them now had achieved what they want and being so proud of it! On the other hand, I'm holding my horses here and wait for another opportunity to come, wait for the miracle to happen.

Sometime I feel heart broken when I see my friends reached their goals. Every time I see it, I told myself "that should be me in there, otherwise...!". I feel the disappointment and sadness from my heart...
Well, it wasn't that bad,I had learnt lots of stuff throughout the whole journey which not much people will encounter. I'm so proud of myself too.

Thus, I need to re-charge myself for the challenge again! Go! Go! Go!
Come so far, yet, got so far to go! =D